Tuesday, October 7, 2008


A transition. There may be a sweet way to do this, which I'm looking for at the moment, but I've just moved my blog over to fefferknits.wordpress.com. Come see me!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Markers and Mormons

Sooo...I've been reminded that I've been neglecting my bloggie. Oops!

The last few weeks have been interesting. After several requests, I started a thread on Ravelry about Mormonism. I was a tad hesitant, considering that the last several times my religion came up, it became a pulpit at which to scream for weeks about how "Mormons aren't Christian," or to compare the terror of Mormonism to a neighbor who skins cats. Yes, I'm serious. In comparison, the sermon about how "ridiculous" we are seems pretty tame.

Perhaps you can understand my trepida
tion. But, really, it's turned out pretty well. People have been curious, but not argumentative (much), and though some people still find our beliefs peculiar, those same people seem to respect them for what they are, and appreciate a further explanation. It's even more interesting to me to hear comments like, "I was raised to believe that Mormonism was a cult--it's so obvious to me now that you're not. And that you worship Christ." Well, thank goodness for that! I guess I'd never really realized how many people had been taught that we're a cult. It makes me a little sad, but I'm pleased that some good has come of these discussions. I'd just expected to answer questions about whether we're polygamists, or whether we have horns. (No, and yes. Um, I mean no! Hee.)

In knitting news, I finally finished Martha for Mom! It was a *lovely* finished sweater. I was really nervous to hand it over to my picky, picky mother, but it went over well! She even WEARS it! Woohoo!

Since, I've made a Clapotis, finished off my Felted Clogs, and started a Plain Vanilla Pullover and a Simple Knitted Bodice in the BMFA MilkyWay I bought at Fiber Fest. It's going to be reeeeally pretty!

Oh! And the CESOB girls had a stitch-marker swap! Oh
my gosh--I'm a stitch marker makin' fool! It's so quick and fun, and I really enjoyed it. My only failing is that I'm not terribly ingenious when it comes to bead/color combinations. Some of the girls made really beautiful stuff...mine was just sort of pedestrian. But anyway, we each made six sets of markers and swapped, so I got six lovely sets (and a pair of earrings!) from all over the country. So fun! Thanks again, girls!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Schlurping from my Friends

Stolen from my friends iKate and Amander (she's British, you know), I give you The Unread Books Meme! I hate to

Instructions: The top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or well-rounded. Bold the ones you've read, asterisk the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish.

A Clockwork Orange
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
A People’s History of the United States: 1492-present
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man* - BUSTED! I took Joyce as my senior seminar in college.
A Short History of Nearly Everything
American Gods
Anansi Boys
Angela’s Ashes: a Memoir - Couldn't. Couldn't do it. Don't do depressing well.
Angels & Demons
Anna Karenina
Atlas Shrugged
Brave New World
Cloud Atlas
Collapse: how societies choose to fail or succeed
Crime and Punishment* - Russian literature is not my forte!
David Copperfield
Don Quixote* - Only portions were assigned. But I read it in Spanish!
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
Foucault’s Pendulum
Frankenstein* - I never got to really start, but this is in my to-read pile.
Freakonomics: a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
Gravity’s Rainbow
Great Expectations
Gulliver’s Travels
Guns, Germs, and Steel
In Cold Blood: a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
Jane Eyre
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell - Just couldn't get into it. I dunno.
Les Misérables
Life of Pi: a novel
Love in the Time of Cholera
Madame Bovary
Mansfield Park
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlemarch* - Still ashamed about this one. Need to go back and finish.
Moby Dick
Mrs. Dalloway
Northanger Abbey
Oliver Twist
On the Road
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Oryx and Crake
Pride and Prejudice
Reading Lolita in Tehran: a memoir in books
Sense and Sensibility
Tess of the D’Urbervilles*
The Aeneid
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Blind Assassin
The Brothers Karamazov
The Canterbury Tales*
The Catcher in the Rye
The Confusion
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
The Fountainhead
The God of Small Things
The Grapes of Wrath
The Historian: a novel
The Hobbit
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
The Iliad
The Kite Runner
The Mists of Avalon
The Name of the Rose
The Odyssey* - Seriously? Who's read the WHOLE THING??
The Once and Future King
The Picture of Dorian Gray*
The Poisonwood Bible: a novel
The Prince* - I think we were only assigned excerpts. Machiavelli. Oy.
The Satanic Verses
The Scarlet Letter*
The Silmarillion
The Sound and the Fury
The Tale of Two Cities* - Eh. Dickens isn't my favorite. What can I say?
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
To the Lighthouse
Treasure Island
Vanity Fair - I put this down when we moved and need to pick it back up!
War and Peace
Watership Down - In fairness, I started this when I was 10.
White Teeth
Wicked: the life and times of the wicked witch of the West (This was bizarre and very different from the musical)
Wuthering Heights*
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: an inquiry into values

Woo! 23 of 106! I feel pretty good about that, though it seems I should have done better, considering the fact that I was an English major. I like that so many of them were read for fun, though. Go, literature! Now I have a list of recommendations for the future. Yay!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Swapping's in the Air!

My favorite group on Ravelry, CESOB, had a little Get-to-Know-You yarn swap, and I got my package from my swapper today! April, aka mamanak, sent all kinds of awesome goodies my way. Hang on for pictures!

First, a gorgeous skein of handpainted Snarky Design sock yarn in Island Ice Age. I'm excited to pick out a pattern for my very first pair of socks!

Next, some really cute sock and yarn-ball stitch markers. So darling! (And with purpel beads!)

And among other goodies, (some not pictured) loads of fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls (my favorite!), two fantastic-smelling handmade soaps from Blue House Soaps, some fantastic local-to-Illinois potato chips, and a gift certificate to Cheesecake Factory! Woot!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Six Word Memoir

Genuine tagged me with a quick little meme, and it's taken me two whole days to come up with six words to describe myself. But here it is:

"Puts out fires all day long."

Why? Dude. I have twins. Apart from that, in an average day, even though my life seems pretty boring, it seems like I put out millions of little ones. Today was a little more ridiculous. For example, our recurring ceiling leak...recurred. We had to race the clock to rip open the patched hole in the boy's bedroom wall so we could climb inside the "Hole to Narnia" and poke around in the quasi-attic, searching frantically to find the d%mn leak, finally, before it stopped raining.

Of course, it stopped raining just as we got the hole open.

Luckily, it started again several minutes later, and we have success! We finally found the leak! Guess where it is? Up in the actual attic. With actual access. This better be the last time we have to patch that stinking wall.

Oh. Let's see. I'm supposed to tag 5 more people. How 'bout:
Anree, Stine, Essjay, iKate, and Leigha.

Friday, March 21, 2008

How boring am I??

So, so far, I've been mostly political and pedantic on this blog. BLARG! Are all of you (all three?) so sick of me? I am. Srsly. I now solemnly vow to just...post. About whatever.

Today was a good day. Dyeing Easter eggs with the kids and making cupcakes. They were in the shape of flowers, even. It was all about spring at our house! My kids were so into it, and that made it so much fun! They're diggin' on the Easter Bunny idea this year, and I'm so excited to play it up for them.

My boys are such a treat, really. They were so cute about the eggs, wanting to check them every 30 seconds. "Are they done yet? Are they colored? Now check the green one, Mommy. Is it done?" So cute! And they wanted to help me turn on the mixer to make the cupcakes. "Mmm! It smells like cake!" :rofl:

So, the back piece of Martha's almost done! It's been slow going--the size 1.5 needles are killing me, but it's gorgeous. I'll take pictures in the morning and add them here. Well, maybe in the afternoon. I have a brunch in the morning. YAY BRUNCH!

ETA: Guess what I just discovered? This font is ginormous in Google Reader! Sorry, Reader readers. I tried going down a size, and it's impossible to read here at "normal" size. I dunno what to tell ya.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

How to spy on what your friends are reading

My good buddy iKate tagged me with this meme, which is fun! And reading everyone else's responses is giving me some good ideas re: what to read next. Always helpful. Thanks, guys. :)

So, here goes!
The Rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book of 123 (or more) pages.
The Confessions of Max Tivoli. Reading this next, after I finish The Appeal, by Grisham. Which is by my bathtub; hence, why it wasn't the closest.

2. Open the book to page 123 and find the 5th sentence.
"I've lived here my whole life."

3. Post the next 3 sentences.
Her eyes widened. "Don't tell me it was South Park...."
"Not South Park," I lied.

4. Tag 5 people.
Ummm...I dunno. You wanna do it? DO IT!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

100 Things About Me

I just realized that I didn't have my 100 things posted here. It was a little outdated, so I punched it up a bit, and made it more universal (it was originally posted on KH). Here ya go!

1. My maiden name is Read. Like a book. I was sad to give it up when I got married, but I was happy not to have to spell it for anyone anymore.
2. I live in the town where I was born and raised, though I did leave for college and a few years after. I love it here, and wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
3. Except maybe Cannon Beach, Oregon. It's my favorite place, but I don't know if I could handle the rain.
4. I hate winter. Gray skies make me feel yucky.
5. My favorite season is Fall.
6. I was a National Merit Scholar. I was always the "smart girl" growing up...but I still totally tanked my college scholarship in the first year. Too much playing.
7. I graduated with a degree in English, and worked for several years as an editor and marketing writer.
8. I have a compulsive need to edit everything, and it drives me nuts when things in mass-production (commercials, print ads, etc.) are not grammatically correct!
9. But I'm not judging anyone who isn't as OCD about it as I am. :)
10.I used to do spelling bees, which we always did by teams. We always won.
11.I got a newspaper article written about me because I knew how to spell "sauerkraut." It was a bonus word.
12. I quit working a few months after my twins were born. I love being a SAHM.
13. I stay in some kind of lounge-wear about 4 days out of 7. I'm pretty lazy.
14. I sing. I have a respectable lyric soprano voice, and I've been taking voice lessons for the past couple of years.
15. DH and I have been married since 2001. We met in high school, when I was a senior and he was a junior (Hee hee!).
16. But I'm only 7 mos. older.
17. I sang in the jazz choir, and he was the bass player. We were acquaintances, but never hung out. We ran into each other in college, and he asked me out, but I cancelled the date when I found out a guy I liked was coming into town. I haven't lived that down yet!
18. A year and a half later, we went on our first date. It lasted 20 hours, and we got engaged two weeks later. We were married within 9 weeks of that first date. Yep, you heard me!
19. We moved back to Boise when we found out I was pregnant, just 8 mos. after we got married. We were really glad to be living near family when we found out we were having twins.
20. My boys were only 4 weeks early, weighed 5 pounds each, and never spent any time in the NICU. I'm still grateful for that.
21. My favorite TV show is probably House.
22. I also love 24, Law & Order, The Soup, Best Week Ever, The Office, Scrubs, and Without a Trace. I probably forgot some. I'm a proud TV junkie.
23. I started sewing when I was 12. I worked as a freelance seamstress after high school. I only really enjoy making things for my home.
24. I reupholstered my couch, and then did it again when it turned out I hated the fabric.
25. I love to cook. Which is a bummer. I was much skinnier before I discovered it! I have a hard time loving anything that doesn't involve lots of fattening ingredients.
26. I play the piano. I quit lessons when I was 16, which bummed out my family, because they thought that was where my talents lay. I just didn't enjoy it anymore, but now that I don't have to practice, I really love to play.
27. I took ballet classes for about 10 years, though I haven't danced in about that long.
28. I learned to knit exclusively online. Mostly from the videos on knittinghelp.com. Also, some of my best friends came from the forum there, though I don't visit it anymore.
29. My first knitted project was a lace sweater for my newborn niece. I got bored with sewing and decided I could probably make a sweater. Hey, why not, right?
30. I've become a chronic project-starter. I'm training myself out of that.
31. I can't seem to buy yarn unless I have an actual project in mind for it. Just buying "some" because it's pretty...I can't do it!
32. I tend to never finish things I'm making for myself. And like most other things, I do better if I have a deadline.
33. I have to have the TV on when I knit.
34. I love (good) old movies. TCM is awesome.
35. I speak Spanish, but only when I have to. My DH's family took all of us to Spain, and I couldn't seem to say anything unless I was alone, in which case I spoke fluently! I also understand about 1,000 times more (and process it faster) than I can speak.
36. I get embarrassed if I have to do anything that I don't believe I do well.
37. Actually MAKING a fool of myself almost never embarrasses me, though! I'm not easily offended or embarrassed.
38. Most embarrassing moment: when I ran over myself with my van.
39. I don't smoke or drink. Ravelry is my vice.
40. I have a tattoo just inside my right hip. It's a butterfly, which at the time held some significance for me. Now that I have stretch marks, its wings are lookin' pretty ragged.
41. I used to have my navel pierced, too.
42. I did both on a dare.
43. We live in a house that my brother built in 2007. It's awesome because it's custom, and because it was so much cheaper that way. :)
44. I'm a Diet Pepsi fiend. I used to drink Diet Coke, but I was getting withdrawal headaches, and I found out Pepsi has less caffeine. I don't have as many headaches now.
45. I get nasty migraines, which they used to give me narcotics for! Now I take the anti-seizure med, which prevents most of them, and Imitrex. I worship at the feet of Imitrex' creator. :p
46. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I was diagnosed in 1992, so I've seen treatments come a long way. It's been an interesting ride.
47. I'm not big on sweets, but I loooooove salty things!
48. I love Italian and Chinese foods. I can't decide which is my favorite.
49. I don't really like chocolate. Seriously.
50. My blood-type is B+. According to my doc, that probably indicates that I have Native American ancestry.
51. This, of course, could be ridiculous. But one of my grandfathers doesn't know who his father is, so it could be true...
52. I'm 1/8th Danish, but the rest of my known ancestors were mostly English. I can trace some of my genealogy back to Charlemagne, which is cool.
53. If I could visit anywhere on Earth, it would be Florence, Italy. I'd also love to see Ireland. I'd like to go back to Spain, too--Toledo and Seville are my favorite cities there.
54. I read like a fiend. I stay up most nights until around 2 am, just reading away.
55. Luckily, my kids don't wake me until about 9 every morning, so I get plenty of sleep.
56. My favorite actor is Anthony Hopkins. But I love Johnny Depp. And Kiefer.
57. My favorite musician is probably Sting. I also love U2 and Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan.
58. I hate fluorescent lighting. My whole house has those great Reveal bulbs. Makes the colors in my house look prettier. Yes, I realize I'm going to global-warming hell.
59. My mom's an interior designer, so I grew up in House Beautiful. That was cool, but I never got to have posters and things on my walls--I had to hang them inside my closet!
60. I'm turning into my mother more every day. I'm down with that.
61. I proudly drive a minivan. When it's dead, we'll probably buy another, but I'll hope for a hybrid. I heart good gas mileage.
62. I have one brother, who's 6 years younger than I am. We're really close. DH comes from a family of 6 kids!
63. I will neeever have 6 kids. His family get-togethers can be fun, but all those people are overwhelming for me!
64. I'm shy at first, but I've learned to fake it because people used to think I was stuck-up when I was shy.
65. Once I feel comfortable, though, I won't shut up. It's kind of embarrassing.
66. I'm fiercely loyal.
67. I'm an optimist.
68. I'm insanely independent. It never occurs to me to ask for help until I've tried something myself.
69. Other than my husband, I'm probably closest to my mom. We like to pal around together.
70. I always wished I had a sister.
71. I love to write, but only non-fiction. I never could make up a good story. I'm very opinionated, so essays were always fun for me.
72. My dad's a lawyer, so I grew up knowing how to argue. I still like a good debate.
73. I love to plant things, but I'm really bad at taking care of them.
74. I have really long eyelashes. I can't ever find sunglasses that don't smash them.
75. For several years in college, I went by "Jade."
76. That's because there were 3 Jennifers in my apartment, and I once got asked on a date (via phone) by a guy who'd thought he was talking to one of the other ones! It was pretty humiliating when he came to pick her up and I came to the door.
77. The name Jade came about because I was a Clothing Design major for one semester, and I needed to come up with a name for my clothing line. A friend and I came up with "Jade Bradley". He thought I seemed like a Jade.
78. The name stuck, and I have several friends who met me as Jade and were shocked to learn my name was Jennifer. They were also amazed to learn I wasn't really a redhead.
79. I was engaged to someone other than my husband. I was 19, and it was highly dramatic and short-lived. Interesting.
80. I have to chew my food on both sides of my mouth, symmetrically.
81. I can't go to sleep unless all the doors in the house are closed.
82. I won an award as a jazz soloist. I had to prepare 2 songs, and I arranged one of them myself.
83. When I couldn't figure out how to end it, the perfect idea hit me in the middle of the night. I got up and figured it out on the piano at 4 am, which thrilled my family. The only person I shared the story with at the time is now my husband; it's probably the only real conversation I had with him then.
84. On our first date, DH and I had lunch and dinner, got caught in the rain and then a sandstorm, got kicked out of a park after dark, and danced on the beach in the moonlight. Who wouldn't fall for all of that?
85. I always wanted to be either an archaeologist or a lawyer. Don't think I could do either in my jammies, which is the big perk of my current job.
86. I like to mess with my haircolor, but it's currently my natural dishwater-y light brown.
87. I love having really short hair, but it's not very flattering on me at my current weight. So it's below my shoulders. It spends most of its time in a ponytail.
88. I have cute feet. Really!
89. I have super-hard fingernails, so they're almost always long. They don't break very often.
90. I've never had a cavity.
91. I do have a bunch of crowns and fillings, though. I broke 6 teeth when I hit a pebble while roller blading. I'd just careened down a steep hill, so I was going way too fast. I didn't even know I was falling, so I couldn't catch myself--I split my chin open to the bone. Luckily, some runners saw it happen and helped me to my car. Then I drove myself to the ER (stupid).
92. I've never broken a bone.
93. I've never seen Grey's Anatomy. Or Lost. Don't kill me!
94. I sort-of play single mommy half the week, while DH is working FT at night and going to school. Only two semesters left, and I can have my husband back!
95. I heart my king-sized bed.
96. I'm a Republican. For reals, y'all. (*GASP!*) But I try not to let it make me a freak.
97. I'm a formula-feeder. And my kids haven't died yet. (Hee hee!)
98. Ohh...what else? Have I covered it all? I'm LDS.
99. I'm obviously incredibly wordy.
100. And this list of 100 things probably encompasses about 300. :p

Thursday, January 31, 2008

I'm stealing this End-of-Year Meme from Leigha. Yeah, I know it's officially February. I'm a tad behind--SO?! :teehee:

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
I got on a plane and went to Chicago by myself, and met a bunch of crazy knitters whom I'd never met before, some of whom have turned out to be some of my best friends. It was incredible!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't believe the hype. :rofl: I know when I'll be setting myself up for disappointment!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Um...yeah! My SIL. Her little guy's darling, but we don't get to see him often, since they live out of state. I think she's the only one. If not, please don't anyone hit me!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My cousin, Adrienne. I hadn't actually spoken with her for about five years, and we'd never had an extremely personal relationship, but I still love her very much. I'd thought of her often, recently, in fact, since someone I know looks a lot like her. When I saw this friend last week, it was like I'd been hit between the eyes.

5. What countries did you visit?
Just stayed in the good ol' US of A this year. I'm really starting to feel bummed about that. International travel has spoiled me.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
What did I just say about more international travel? Um, and more yarn. And something to keep me busy when my boys go to school in the Fall, please!

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 21. My birthday was freakin' awesome. It was part of that crazy-fun Chicago trip and I loved it! I also turned 30 this year, which made it an even bigger deal. Seems like there should be other big dates...maybe they'll come to me later?

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I learned to knit a sock! Is that seriously my biggest achievement? OH! I wrangled a neighborhood that had no homeowner's association into agreeing on a plan for landscaping, and sweet-talked the property management company into signing the rights to the money over to us to spend. We got $35,000 in landscaping installed, all with no legal right to do so! And it looks great. Pretty freakin' awesome. Of course, it came with a price. Now I have to be on the board. Gah.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not realizing until it was too late that our mortgage broker was an idiot. And that we should have saved more of the equity from the sale of our house to make the exorbitant payments on this one. :doh:

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope. Just the usual cold/flu stuff.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our house. Despite the exorbitant payments. :teehee:

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My boys'! They do awesome things every day! My husband weathered a frightening layoff period at work, and survived another semester of school. My brother got hired by a great firm, after a scary period of unemployment.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Um, let's not name names.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Seriously? I wish I knew. I bet my Money file could tell me, but it'd be skeery.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
MOVING! Selling our house. Picking out stuff for our new house. Chicago. My Ravelry invite.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Toss up between Cake's "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" and "All That Jazz" from Chicago. :rofl:

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) About the same. But wiser. Which is good.
b) Thinner! Woot! Thank you, Topamax!
c) Uh, good question. Higher wages - ginormous house payment = poorer, I think. Let's not talk about it, K?

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Thinking before I spoke.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying about what other people thought.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve with my family. Yay! It's always a nice evening.
Christmas morning with hubby and our kids, opening Santa presents. One of our kids wanted to head straight to the mall to thank Santa. :heart:
Christmas afternoon trying to weather the awkwardness with the in-laws.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Um, yes. With Ravelry. :rofl:

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Tough choice! I love me some 24. (I have a hardcore crush on Jack Bauer. :sigh:)But I find that with the strike, I'm also really missing Journeyman.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I honestly don't think I hate anyone. There are a few people I don't trust anymore.

24. What was the best book you read?
The Kite Runner. Hands down.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Imogen Heap. Love her. Especially "The Moment I Said It." Pure genius.

26. What did you want and get?
My house. Pretty much everything in it and about it.

27. What did you want and not get?
Four more feet of width in the living room. :rofl: Kidding! Um, I'm sure there are lots of things I've done without. None of them amount to much in the grand scheme.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I...need to think some more about that.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Oh! Again, I was in Chigaco with the knittergirls. We were at karaoke at midnight, and I was waiting for some of the girls to come back from Borders and bring back my copy of Harry Potter. Who could ask for more! :teehee: Day-of, we went and had a knit-in at a yarn store, where I was spoiled with presents, and there were several meals out crammed in there. More knitting that evening...by the fire in the lobby of our hotel, I believe. Very laid-back. Good times! Such a nice way to spend my 30th birthday

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Hmm. Going without a few of the stresses that came with it? I don't mind the major trials in life that inevitably come my way. But I could have done without a couple of the personal tiffs.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Uh, lazy. Ponytail, no makeup, jeans and a dressy tee.

32. What kept you sane?
My husband. My mom. My online girls.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ha! Must I choose? I :heart: Kiefer, but I decided maybe I just have a crush on the character, and not so much the man. As much as I love a bad boy, I'm not attracted to other forms of Kiefer. I need the short-haired, long-tee-shirt and jeans, messenger bag Kiefer. :roflhard:

I also have an inordinate attraction to Jason Bateman. I just came to terms with this one.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Let's not go over that again. It was ugly the first time.

35. Who did you miss?
Um, I really, really miss my male friends from college. I just had a little cry over this on Tuesday. I've lost touch with all of them, now, but I had some incredibly deep, close relationships with several guys during those years, and I miss them immensely. There are a few songs that remind me of one or another of them, and the memories really hit me in the gut. It hurts.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Oh, I don't think I could choose! But I'm definitely the closest to Julie. We are :peas:!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
That I do need my husband to choose sides.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
It's hard to rely on my good intentions
When my heads full of things that I cant mention....

I'm not afraid things wont get better
But it feels like this has gone on forever.
You have to cry with your own blue tears
Have to laugh with your own good cheer

I cant be hard on you
'cause you know I've been there too
Learned a lot of things from you

But life gives little relief
Give us reprieve
And when everyone is cold as ice
I clinch my fists and close my eyes
Imagining the world outside
But I can see that I'm not blind

Bigotry by any other name...

I've been thinking a lot, lately, about what it means to be "in the minority." I'm white, so, you know, obviously I'm in the majority on the race issue. I'm a woman, which isn't a minority in this country. But, sure, there are oppression issues there. I've been incredibly lucky not to have been the brunt of them, though. At least, not to my knowledge. Career-wise, I was actually the most highly paid writer and editor in the company for which I worked. The men didn't do so well in that area of the company--they were pretty lazy. The company before that? All women. In high school, I worked retail, in fabric stores and at Hallmark, and one time at a retail grocery store, but my Dad worked in the office, and I know I got a comparable wage.

OK, so I've personally never dealt with sexism, at least not in the workplace. (Ha! Well, not sexism related to pay...we won't go into the coworker who flashed me.) So, what other prejudices might I deal with?

Well, religion, it turns out, can be a big one. Never has been for me before. I grew up in a community that's got a large LDS population (I'd guess around 20%), and though most of my friends in high school were not Mormon, most of my friends (in town) now are. I'm surrounded by people who believe the same things I do. And my friends who don't at all share my beliefs? They don't really seem to care. We respect one another for the loving, intelligent people we all are. Why should anything else matter?

Interestingly, apparently it does. I've found that there are, indeed, some in this world who loftily claim to "accept all, regardless of their views," who just can't seem to do it.

To be clear, I've never made any such claim. I'll be honest with you and tell you that it's my goal to try. I'll tell you that I believe it's not my place to judge. And that I know I should love everyone. But some people really do make it so danged hard!

That said, I do still try. I'm not proud of my weaknesses. But I do also believe that no matter how much I love someone, there's still such a thing as right and wrong. I know that the trend continues toward "anything goes," and that my definition of right and wrong isn't the same as everyone else's. But I stand by it, and I'll continue to defend it...at least, until the conversation becomes completely ugly and unproductive. It's happened on more than one occasion, recently.

I'm alright, frankly, with the idea that some people just won't like me. I just want them to stop avoiding the fact that when it's because of my religious beliefs, it's bigotry, just the same.

Friday, January 18, 2008

On Slimming Down

It's been four months, and I've lost 36 pounds now. THIRTY SIX. :shakinghead: This is a bizarre phenomenon. Every time I think I've hit a stopping-point, and my body's done dropping weight solely as a side-effect of a drug I'm taking, it starts back up again. I've lost two pounds in the last two days. It's utterly unfathomable.

The strangest part about it is that I didn't really care about my weight. Sure--I was overweight. Yes, it had been sneaking on, not so slowly, for the last five or six years. But the thing is, I didn't care! It wasn't
really bothering me. My weight had been pretty stable for the last 8 months before I started the Topamax, and I was OK with how I looked and felt. It just wasn't an issue.

I think, for me, being OK with my weight was revolutionary. I grew up thinking I was fat. I'd never had my mother's tiny bone structure. I was built solidly, like my dad, with short, thick bones and a propensity to build dense muscle. But I was never fat. I just perceived myself that way. As a result, I spent most of high school and a good portion of junior high on a diet, unhappily comparing myself to slight, slim girls.

When I finally came to terms with the fact that I would never look like that, and stopped trying to diet myself into oblivion and just be healthy, my outlook changed. I became happy with myself for who I was, and not what I looked like. I looked great, but it simply wasn't important anymore.

Of course, after I got married and began cooking and snacking and putting on weight, I wasn't thrilled, but I remembered what I'd learned--that my worth was in no way related to my weight. It's a lesson that's stuck with me. So now, as my weight continues to plummet and everyone congratulates me (and rightly so! I'm healthier!), it's strange for me to consider. I have no "weight-loss goals." I had no desire to lose weight. It's an odd thing to have something good come at you out of left field and blindside you, I suppose.

Thursday, January 3, 2008


Sometimes, people make me want to slam my head into a wall. Not everything has to be perverse! Not everything has to be a melodrama! Honestly--do we live in a soap opera? No? A "reality" TV show? OK, then--CALM THE HECK DOWN!!

:sigh: I know I get worked up over stuff, too, and sometimes over stuff that doesn't matter. I guess it's just other people's stuff that bugs me, sometimes. The stuff belonging to people for whom I don't care particularly. :teehee: Also, I'm no prude, but I'm really tired of everything being some kind of sex-related joke. Honestly. It's like living in a frat house sometimes. :roll:

Sooo...not much really going on with me right now. Mr. Feffer has gone back to work after a long vacation, and I'm adjusting to having more time to myself. Yesterday was spent feeling a tad lonely, but today's been quite nice! I went on a renting spree at the video store, and I've gotten a lot of knitting done on my Mr. Greenjeans. I'm making it in black Malabrigo, and I'm loving it! It's my first Mmmm project, and it really is luscious! Mmmmmmmmm-y soft!

Oh--here's my one moment of entertainment for the day, though. Anyone who's seen Disney's Peter Pan should get it: my older son showed me his pirate ship today. They got these for Christmas, and they've been a big hit--they have lots of little features and hidden gadgets; anchors and booty and secret doors, etc. Well, this child discovered a little trigger that makes the plank pop out from the side of the ship, and in his delight asked me, "Mommy?! Is this the 'Choice Is Up to You?'" :roflhard:

I spent several minutes trying to convince him that it was called a plank, but to no avail. :teehee: Thanks, Disney! Aaaaaand now that song's been stuck in my haid all day. :snrx: